I can't do this anymore.
Sorry if lately there's too many frustating post, melancholy mode : on for a while.


These days (esp since Monday) I spend many times to think (me, thinking? hahaha).
I decided that I...will...

Wear that mask.
I know, I am not the nicest person.
I am uncaring, I am annoying, I am loud and can't handle situations very well, I can't talk to my friends without hurting them at least once, I love acting mighty and bitchy-i-know-it-all, I love pestering my friends until it can be described as stalking,,...

BUT THAT'S NOT THE CASE.
In fact, I am very far, FAR from that description. I am quiet, I refuse to talk unless my friends invite me to their conversation, I am selfish, I want the world revolves around me, but at the same time I always think about little things that seems to go unnoticed by some people yet I am too proud to show my friends about that. I noticed that she had big secrets, I noticed that she lost a little weight, I noticed their sorrow, yet I won't do anything. Damn pride.

I know people doesn't care about me or whatever...
but...do they at least know?

That I am suffering?
That I always put a fake smile?
That I have no real smile yet?
That I act as a pervert because I want you all to remember me?
That I often cried because I want your attention? (note : I was often crying at school)

I don't understand.
Why when I asked or talked about something, they seldom responded me in appropriate way? Like I am just a damn fly or something.



............

/frustated with physics.

Label: about me, aneh, cerita, ga penting, geje, iseng, updates

Pissed off at some ignorant people.
Seriously, agh,...

Especially that certain person.
::WARNING : UNIMPORTANT RANTS ARE COMING!::


I can't believe i can put up all these years spending time with her, ugh I am beyond frustated right now. She can't put me at the same place as worthless trash. JUST CAN'T! Who I am to her? Just some random person to chat with? Am I that untrustworthy?

Besides her, I am frustated with one person too. Now when I think that our bond is a genuine one, she betrayed me....moreover, it is not intentional. I can't blame her for her bluntness (or stupidity? please choose one).

Lastly, I am still a person. It still hurts my heart to be ignored, you know. You don't know this feeling, do you? The feeling of uneasiness and the feeling of being ignored with no reason... The feeling of loneliness.

I know I am annoying, I know I am uncaring etc. Please shut your mouth now.

If you don't want to shut up, I will. Don't expect me to treat you this kind.

God, I am so lonely right now. What can I do?

Label: about me, aneh, ga penting, geje, iseng, Sekolah, updates

Just another reflection post.
Ignore my rants, please.

Bugger, I have posted many things lately, haven't I?
They were pretty darn pointless too. Hmm, sorry for spamming your inbox (did my blog's updates even appear in my followers' inbox?

.....Real things?



You all have known about melody.
You all have known about music and songs.

Some said, music is their expression of this colourful life. Life has many colours, but they are divided by two parts by what we call as commoners. A white colour is tainted by scratches of black ink and vice versa.

Yes, they are black and white.

If we don't take one of those sides, we are in a plain zone, called shades of grey. Side that doesn't belong to both of them and prefer to create its own existence.

I honestly think that grey area is stupid.

Honestly, they just do that in order to do justice to their unreasonable actions (too much word 'to' lol). They just run away from harsh reality, because they aren't brave enough to choose one of those sides. Some said, they don't like to fight and choose to be a 'persuader' between the 'white' side and the 'black' side. How can your so-called idealsm affect them if you are this coward?

Songs are consisted by three parts. Each part plays different yet important roles. Without one of them, the songs are not completed. However, the most important role is played by the part named 'chorus'.

Chorus is constantly played and has the most part in the song. They can be a nice melody to our ears, but sometimes can cause underwhelming feeling if we expect too much of it.

And to top it off, verse is USUALLY better than chorus. If I recalled correctly, there were many songs that have a really nice verse but crush it off with its horrible chorus.

Example?
Hmm...Hiiro no Fusha [Moulin Rouge] by Sound Horizon is a good example. The verse is really, really good but the chorus *facepalm*.

So, what's the point?

As I mentioned earlier, Life is like one of those songs.

It has different parts called 'path'.
It lead us to different outcome. We can be a good person, normal person or bad person. But in the end, they act based on their belief.

That 'path' is the continuation of our childhood.
Childhood is symbolized by 'verse'. Verse is the first step towards chorus, same as childhood. Childhood is the first step towards path. The path we take is determined by the childhood that we make. The result of that childhood reflects on our actions toward our paths.

'Chorus' is our choice. If we make wrong choices, it will taunt our mind for the rest of our life. We can't stop regretting something that has been done by none other than our selfish selves. Same as chorus. Chorus is constantly played in the song, like the choices that constantly remind us of our regret. However, that experience will lead us to different outcome if we exploit its usage correctly.

'Bridge' is somewhat has the smallest part out of them all but it symbolizes 'climax'. In our life, we reach the climax first then the resolution. In those songs, bridge is consisted by catchy tune and abuse of tenor voice, lol (what's with those high notes or screaming anyway?). Bridge is always amazing and endearing. I always like 'bridge' the most. Dunno, it just has the 'right' melody and I always find myself repeating that part. Climax is an important event for everyone. Can they throw away the past and lamentting towards the future? Can they slide past the climax smoothly so they will have a good resolution?

----

I have planned to run away from home on that fateful day.

I blamed fate. I blamed everything.

I called my friend, seeking for temporary sanctuary. He is a boy. He is one of my childhood friend. I want to run, I want to be at his place.

But he told me this.

Don't run away.

You must face your fate.

You can't leave your parents like that, he told me with soft voice but sincere words.

On that fateful day, I realized that I haven't reached my climax of life yet but I.......

The burden that I bear is nothing.

Nothing at all.
It was the most logical thing to convince myself.

I want the will to live, I want ambition for living in this world!

----

sorry for broken engrish, too lazy to proof-read right now.

Label: about me, aneh, cerita, ga penting, geje, updates

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Goodbye 2011, Welcome 2012!!!! ^^

Gak kerasa ya, tahun 2011 sudah berakhir lagi...
Rasanya cepettt banget.....rasanya kemaren baru tahun baru 2011, sekarang udah tahun 2012 lagi!


Ga banyak pencapaian yang saya dapat di tahun 2011 ini...
Nilai menurun drastis, udah mah gitu stress dan galau karena universitas pun semakin menjadi-jadi.

Yang bikin saya tambah frustasi, di saat teman-teman saya sudah diterima lewat jalur PMDK atau USM saya malah belum ngapa-ngapain karena galau.

Kerjaan saya pas liburan? Cuman nambah fandom dan baca buku.
Dan yang lebih parah lagi, saya malah re-watch series yang udah lama, dan gak bosen-bosen, hehehehe ^^~

Btw, saya baru aja namatin game Plants VS Zombies, ternyata rame banget itu game (telatnya kebangetan).

Oh iya, saya juga banyak ngegambar ^^
Terutama seseorang yang berkacamata....hehehe sorry you will have no spoiler ^^

Kebanyakan sih hasilnya sketsa-sketsa yang berantakan dan ga jelas,tapi overall saya cukup suka dengan outcome-nya.

Harapan saya buat tahun 2012?
Hmm...ga muluk-muluk deh, saya cuman pengen jadi orang yang lebih baik.

Saya jadi orang yang seperti sekarang tidak lepas dari beberapa pengaruh series yang agak signifikan (bukan berarti saya berubah jadi orang yang lebih baik, sayangnya ^^) seperti beberapa series di bawah ini (btw, no pics 'cause I can't find decent pics for them *nasib anime tidak begitu terkenal):

1. Stratos 4
What the hell? Apa moral dari cerita anime ini, katamu? Tokoh utamanya punya nasib yang sama kayak saya : dia tidak bisa memilih cita-cita. Dia terlahir di keluarga yang semuanya menjadi pilot dari generasi ke generasi, tapi dia sendiri malah sama sekali tidak tertarik untuk menjadi pilot. Jalan cerita yang cliche, tapi justru karena itulah saya merasa sangat dekat dengan tokoh utamanya. Pada akhirnya, dia malah menyukai pekerjaan pilot tersebut karena akhirnya dia memahami betapa pentingnya pekerjaan itu. Kinda like me, eh? Semoga saya bisa mendapat hidayah yang sama agar bisa menjadi seperti dia.

2. Twin Spica
Hmm..What can I say? Anime ini mengajarkan kepada saya tentang persahabatan dan kegigihan dalam mencapai cita-cita (sumpah, gigih banget).Selain gigih dalam mencapai cita-cita, kita harus gigih dalam membentuk "teamwork" yang baik. Entah kenapa, anime ini menginspirasi saya untuk terus mencapai cita-cita, tidak peduli dengan berbagai halangan yang menghadang. Selain itu, jangan pernah meninggalkan persahabatan karena....persahabatan itu mempunyai timbal balik tersendiri^^ Jangan sampai kita baru menyadari pentingnya persahabatan itu saat kita sudah meninggalkannya.
(btw, sedikit OOT, yang jadi Fuchuya di drama Twin Spica itu sama kayak aktornya Kyouya Ootori di Ouran loh)

3. Kaze no Stigma
Iya. Series ini biasa. Tapi entah kenapa, saya merasa dekat dengan tokoh utamanya. Tidak diakui oleh keluarga pengendali api karena tidak mempunyai bakat mengendalikan api, how sad is that? Tapi karena dia gigih dan terus berusaha dalam berjuang, dia menjadi salah satu pengendali angin yang kuat. Anime ini mengajarkan kepadaku kalau kita bisa menjadi kuat, walaupun dulu kita sangat lemah.

4. Steins;Gate
YUUPPPP anime ini mengajarkan kepada kita : jangan selalu terpaut dengan masa lalu dan jangan pernah berpikir untuk mengubahnya, karena belum tentu hasilnya akan menjadi lebih baik. Intinya, anime ini menginspirasi saya untuk terus maju ke depan, dan jangan pernah melihat ke belakang. Yes, masa lalu bukan ada untuk disesali tapi ada untuk dijadikan pelajaran.

5. Battle Royale
I don't know. Di film ini, kita diperlihatkan sisi sebenarnya dari manusia ^^; tapi karena kedua tokoh utama saling percaya dan saling mendukung satu sama lain, pada akhirnya mereka bisa selamat walaupun hanya ada satu pemenang. Intinya? Percayalah dengan partner kalian dan pikirkan jalan keluar yang memungkinkan kita semua selamat, jangan hanya beberapa orang saja, karena Tuhan selalu memberi jalan kepada siapapun yang berusaha ^^ (sedikit OOT *lagi* BATTLE ROYALE KEDUA ITU GAK RAME).

Okay, sorry about this unimportant post and how short this is. Again, sorry and HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!^^

Label: about me, anime, cerita, geje, updates

Those are lyrics from Steins;Gate opening : Hacking to the gate.
This song pretty much only described glimpses of the entire story, but beautiful nonetheless.
This is NOT fandoming. But I think I should share this thing, hehe.

Translation + Romaji from anime-lyrics

Full lyrics under the cut!


Romaji.
Translation.

HACKING TO THE GATE
_{Written and Composed by Shikura Chiyomaru
Arranged by Isoe Toshimichi
Performed by Itou Kanoko}

Welcome!! Time line travel on The game.
Welcome!! Heroes hacking to The gate.

Welcome!! Time line travel on The game.
Welcome!! Heroes hacking to The gate.

suujuuoku mono kodou no kazu sae
anata ni wa matataki teido no saji na toukyuu
kako ni torawarete mirai wo nageku mo
chiri hitotsu gosan wo yurusanu hitsuzen

Even the number of the billions of the heartbeats,
to you, is a trifle no more than a blink of the eye.
Although I'm trapped in the past and lamenting at the future,
I must not allow even a dust-sized miscalculation.

"Mugen" ni hirogaru yume mo egaku mirai mo
bokutachi ni yurusareta kyoei no genri
"Yuugen" sore wa futatsu no hari ga shimesu
zankoku na yakujou to sentaku e Hacking to the Gate---

We have been given the theory of the right to brag vainly about
both our "infinitely" expanding dream and our sketched future.
The two hands of the clock point out the "finite" factor.
I head towards a cruel contract and choice, hacking to the gate--

dakara ima ichibyou goto ni sekaisen wo koete
kimi no sono egao mamoritai no sa
soshite mata kanashimi no nai jikan no RUUPU e to
nomikomarete yuku kodoku no kansokusha

That's why, at this very moment, in the interval of a second,
I wish to cross the world lines and protect your smile.
Then, once again into a time loop devoid of misery,
I will be swallowed as a lonely observer.

inochi no shuchou to muimi no shoumei
anata ni wa taikutsu shinogi ni taranu kokkei
shihaisha kidori no oroka na shuzoku wa
unuboreta chisetsu na teiri wo narabeta

Even life's viewpoints and meaningless proofs,
to you, are so laughable that you can't even use them to relieve your boredom.
The foolish people of that race, acting as if they were the rulers of all,
have presented childish theorems that reek of their conceitedness.

"Mugen" to shinjita ai mo sora no kanata mo
bokutachi ni shimesareta kasou no jiyuu
"Yuugen" sore wa mujihi ni toki wo kizami
asu sae mo hitei suru sentaku e Hacking to the Gate---

We have been shown the freedom to imagine things
such as "infinite" love and what's beyond the sky.
The "finite" is what's mercilessly allowing time to flow on,
as I head towards my choice to deny even tomorrow, hacking to the gate--

ikutsu mono kagayakeru hibi nakama to no yakusoku
nakatta koto ni wa shite wa ikenai
sono tame ni toki wo azamuku nokosareta shikake ni
mou mayoi wa nai kodoku no kansokusha

I must not pretend that I've never made any promise
with my friends back in those brilliant days.
Therefore, I am a lonely observer with no more doubt
in my remaining tricks that I will use to deceive time.

dakara ima ichibyou goto ni sekaisen wo koete
kimi no sono egao mamoritai no sa
soshite mata kanashimi no nai jikan no RUUPU e to
nomikomarete yuku kodoku no kansokusha

That's why, at this very moment, in the interval of a second,
I wish to cross the world lines and protect your smile.
Then, once again into a time loop devoid of misery,
I will be swallowed as a lonely observer.

The opening in the anime :

This song has a really deep meaning, huh?
note : to fully understand this, I think you must at least read Steins;Gate's summary or John Titor's story (a famous time traveler from year 2036)

Label: anime, geje, iseng, myuzikkk, updates

Am I Too Honest?

If I don't really like someone, I will express it clearly.
So that's why i don't have many friends.

I always tell my friends what i don't like about them.
I know I am very tainted and have many flaws myself but i can't help it.

They're a bit ignorant.
I always try to accept them, and I always try to understand them.

I lied about what I truly like.
I say `I like it!` to the ones whom I hate.

I always go hyper around people.
When my nature is quietness and relaxed atmosphere.

I want to be accepted in this arranged society.

But I know I can't.

Don't you know that I am tired?

If you don't want to talk with me, to play with me, why do you do that?
I hate those ignorant people who thought that the world revolves around them.

I hate myself who can't be honest even to my heart.
I can't say what I truly like without thinking how society will accept me.

Recently, I am really angry with my friends. (still)
I try to tell them but i am afraid. Yes, I am that coward.

And then, I try to become distant.
But out of many things I can't bear, I hate loneliness the most.

Today, I tell my friend about my feelings.
She told me,

You befriended someone based on the benefical situation you can get from them.

Yeah, it is true.
I think with my logical and rational mind.

I have a dirty heart.
I am selfish. I only think about myself.

I keep my stories to myself. I never spilled it to anyone. Not even my so called friends. I have always been demanding about their story, I say I want to understand them better, and I want to help them. I want to enter their world.

But in reality, I always complain that their stories are boring, I can't find the happiness that I seek, I can't find the fun that I desire.

I always lie about my stories, even in non-related fandom.
I force my self to believe that i like those things. And it hurts. Both physically and mentally to the point i want to puke all everything out in one go.

What a big lie.

No one knows about this.

After reading all these non sense, do you think you will stay as my friends?

It's miracle for you to do that, I am positive.

ps. I watched TinTin today and the animation is really nice and fluid, looks like real things..

Label: about me, aneh, cerita, ga penting, updates

Halo semua~ postingan kali ini hanya mencakup hal-hal yang ga penting.
Jadi kalo kalian ga mau buang waktu, silahkan pencet tombol x di kanan atas, okeh?


----

Saya akan melatih skill css saya yang udah bulukan.
No, bukan di blog ini, tapi di blog lain.

Sudah kuputuskan bahwa blog itu akan diisi khusus hanya untuk fangirling dan berbagai macam review. Istilah kerennya sih, blog untuk berfandom ria. Supaya tambah cool, semua isi postingannya dalam bhs inggris yang grammarnya ancur tea.

Kenapa saya buat blog semaceem itu?
Well, setelah dipikir-pikir kayaknya kurang enak ya kalo isi blog ini itu-itu aja tentang review dan fangirling kan kesannya garing banget ^^; padahal inti dari blog ini tuh buat nunjukin siapa sih `andita` itu.

Jadi? Yup. Mulai saat ini, blog ini hanya posting soal my endless rants about my raifu. For example, curhat soal nilai. Yah pokoknya tentang kehidupan aku banget.

One more thing, I can't let you know about my other blog ^^; It's embarassing!
But if you insist, you can search it yourself. As a STALKER. xDDD

----

Pernah ga sih kalian punya temen yang membingungkan?
Di satu waktu, dia menyenangkan. Di satu waktu, tiba-tiba tingkahnya ga jelas *?* kayak sendirinya jelas aja.

Oh SMA, oh SMA. Oh remedial, oh remedial.

Comment?

----

Label: about me, aneh, cerita, ga penting, geje, updates

Andita Nurseptiani Lukman but just call me Andita.
Crazy Fangirl, JPOP, Western,and KPOP listener.
Loves watching dramas, animes, football and many more.
Drawing and Sleeping are her things.
Annoying and loud but loyal and caring.
Loves YAOI so much and can be a very `pervert` and `hormonal` teenager at times.
I ♥ TVXQ . SHINee . KAT-TUN . MBLAQ . AAA . GreenDay

I want to be Seungho's Monalisa~♥

Japanese Name : Saruwatari Chiharu
Korean Name : Kan Ni Seung
English Name : Sherry Lucas

I can't do this anymore.
Sorry if lately there's too many frustating post, melancholy mode : on for a while.


These days (esp since Monday) I spend many times to think (me, thinking? hahaha).
I decided that I...will...

Wear that mask.
I know, I am not the nicest person.
I am uncaring, I am annoying, I am loud and can't handle situations very well, I can't talk to my friends without hurting them at least once, I love acting mighty and bitchy-i-know-it-all, I love pestering my friends until it can be described as stalking,,...

BUT THAT'S NOT THE CASE.
In fact, I am very far, FAR from that description. I am quiet, I refuse to talk unless my friends invite me to their conversation, I am selfish, I want the world revolves around me, but at the same time I always think about little things that seems to go unnoticed by some people yet I am too proud to show my friends about that. I noticed that she had big secrets, I noticed that she lost a little weight, I noticed their sorrow, yet I won't do anything. Damn pride.

I know people doesn't care about me or whatever...
but...do they at least know?

That I am suffering?
That I always put a fake smile?
That I have no real smile yet?
That I act as a pervert because I want you all to remember me?
That I often cried because I want your attention? (note : I was often crying at school)

I don't understand.
Why when I asked or talked about something, they seldom responded me in appropriate way? Like I am just a damn fly or something.



............

/frustated with physics.

Label: about me, aneh, cerita, ga penting, geje, iseng, updates

Pissed off at some ignorant people.
Seriously, agh,...

Especially that certain person.
::WARNING : UNIMPORTANT RANTS ARE COMING!::


I can't believe i can put up all these years spending time with her, ugh I am beyond frustated right now. She can't put me at the same place as worthless trash. JUST CAN'T! Who I am to her? Just some random person to chat with? Am I that untrustworthy?

Besides her, I am frustated with one person too. Now when I think that our bond is a genuine one, she betrayed me....moreover, it is not intentional. I can't blame her for her bluntness (or stupidity? please choose one).

Lastly, I am still a person. It still hurts my heart to be ignored, you know. You don't know this feeling, do you? The feeling of uneasiness and the feeling of being ignored with no reason... The feeling of loneliness.

I know I am annoying, I know I am uncaring etc. Please shut your mouth now.

If you don't want to shut up, I will. Don't expect me to treat you this kind.

God, I am so lonely right now. What can I do?

Label: about me, aneh, ga penting, geje, iseng, Sekolah, updates

Just another reflection post.
Ignore my rants, please.

Bugger, I have posted many things lately, haven't I?
They were pretty darn pointless too. Hmm, sorry for spamming your inbox (did my blog's updates even appear in my followers' inbox?

.....Real things?



You all have known about melody.
You all have known about music and songs.

Some said, music is their expression of this colourful life. Life has many colours, but they are divided by two parts by what we call as commoners. A white colour is tainted by scratches of black ink and vice versa.

Yes, they are black and white.

If we don't take one of those sides, we are in a plain zone, called shades of grey. Side that doesn't belong to both of them and prefer to create its own existence.

I honestly think that grey area is stupid.

Honestly, they just do that in order to do justice to their unreasonable actions (too much word 'to' lol). They just run away from harsh reality, because they aren't brave enough to choose one of those sides. Some said, they don't like to fight and choose to be a 'persuader' between the 'white' side and the 'black' side. How can your so-called idealsm affect them if you are this coward?

Songs are consisted by three parts. Each part plays different yet important roles. Without one of them, the songs are not completed. However, the most important role is played by the part named 'chorus'.

Chorus is constantly played and has the most part in the song. They can be a nice melody to our ears, but sometimes can cause underwhelming feeling if we expect too much of it.

And to top it off, verse is USUALLY better than chorus. If I recalled correctly, there were many songs that have a really nice verse but crush it off with its horrible chorus.

Example?
Hmm...Hiiro no Fusha [Moulin Rouge] by Sound Horizon is a good example. The verse is really, really good but the chorus *facepalm*.

So, what's the point?

As I mentioned earlier, Life is like one of those songs.

It has different parts called 'path'.
It lead us to different outcome. We can be a good person, normal person or bad person. But in the end, they act based on their belief.

That 'path' is the continuation of our childhood.
Childhood is symbolized by 'verse'. Verse is the first step towards chorus, same as childhood. Childhood is the first step towards path. The path we take is determined by the childhood that we make. The result of that childhood reflects on our actions toward our paths.

'Chorus' is our choice. If we make wrong choices, it will taunt our mind for the rest of our life. We can't stop regretting something that has been done by none other than our selfish selves. Same as chorus. Chorus is constantly played in the song, like the choices that constantly remind us of our regret. However, that experience will lead us to different outcome if we exploit its usage correctly.

'Bridge' is somewhat has the smallest part out of them all but it symbolizes 'climax'. In our life, we reach the climax first then the resolution. In those songs, bridge is consisted by catchy tune and abuse of tenor voice, lol (what's with those high notes or screaming anyway?). Bridge is always amazing and endearing. I always like 'bridge' the most. Dunno, it just has the 'right' melody and I always find myself repeating that part. Climax is an important event for everyone. Can they throw away the past and lamentting towards the future? Can they slide past the climax smoothly so they will have a good resolution?

----

I have planned to run away from home on that fateful day.

I blamed fate. I blamed everything.

I called my friend, seeking for temporary sanctuary. He is a boy. He is one of my childhood friend. I want to run, I want to be at his place.

But he told me this.

Don't run away.

You must face your fate.

You can't leave your parents like that, he told me with soft voice but sincere words.

On that fateful day, I realized that I haven't reached my climax of life yet but I.......

The burden that I bear is nothing.

Nothing at all.
It was the most logical thing to convince myself.

I want the will to live, I want ambition for living in this world!

----

sorry for broken engrish, too lazy to proof-read right now.

Label: about me, aneh, cerita, ga penting, geje, updates

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Goodbye 2011, Welcome 2012!!!! ^^

Gak kerasa ya, tahun 2011 sudah berakhir lagi...
Rasanya cepettt banget.....rasanya kemaren baru tahun baru 2011, sekarang udah tahun 2012 lagi!


Ga banyak pencapaian yang saya dapat di tahun 2011 ini...
Nilai menurun drastis, udah mah gitu stress dan galau karena universitas pun semakin menjadi-jadi.

Yang bikin saya tambah frustasi, di saat teman-teman saya sudah diterima lewat jalur PMDK atau USM saya malah belum ngapa-ngapain karena galau.

Kerjaan saya pas liburan? Cuman nambah fandom dan baca buku.
Dan yang lebih parah lagi, saya malah re-watch series yang udah lama, dan gak bosen-bosen, hehehehe ^^~

Btw, saya baru aja namatin game Plants VS Zombies, ternyata rame banget itu game (telatnya kebangetan).

Oh iya, saya juga banyak ngegambar ^^
Terutama seseorang yang berkacamata....hehehe sorry you will have no spoiler ^^

Kebanyakan sih hasilnya sketsa-sketsa yang berantakan dan ga jelas,tapi overall saya cukup suka dengan outcome-nya.

Harapan saya buat tahun 2012?
Hmm...ga muluk-muluk deh, saya cuman pengen jadi orang yang lebih baik.

Saya jadi orang yang seperti sekarang tidak lepas dari beberapa pengaruh series yang agak signifikan (bukan berarti saya berubah jadi orang yang lebih baik, sayangnya ^^) seperti beberapa series di bawah ini (btw, no pics 'cause I can't find decent pics for them *nasib anime tidak begitu terkenal):

1. Stratos 4
What the hell? Apa moral dari cerita anime ini, katamu? Tokoh utamanya punya nasib yang sama kayak saya : dia tidak bisa memilih cita-cita. Dia terlahir di keluarga yang semuanya menjadi pilot dari generasi ke generasi, tapi dia sendiri malah sama sekali tidak tertarik untuk menjadi pilot. Jalan cerita yang cliche, tapi justru karena itulah saya merasa sangat dekat dengan tokoh utamanya. Pada akhirnya, dia malah menyukai pekerjaan pilot tersebut karena akhirnya dia memahami betapa pentingnya pekerjaan itu. Kinda like me, eh? Semoga saya bisa mendapat hidayah yang sama agar bisa menjadi seperti dia.

2. Twin Spica
Hmm..What can I say? Anime ini mengajarkan kepada saya tentang persahabatan dan kegigihan dalam mencapai cita-cita (sumpah, gigih banget).Selain gigih dalam mencapai cita-cita, kita harus gigih dalam membentuk "teamwork" yang baik. Entah kenapa, anime ini menginspirasi saya untuk terus mencapai cita-cita, tidak peduli dengan berbagai halangan yang menghadang. Selain itu, jangan pernah meninggalkan persahabatan karena....persahabatan itu mempunyai timbal balik tersendiri^^ Jangan sampai kita baru menyadari pentingnya persahabatan itu saat kita sudah meninggalkannya.
(btw, sedikit OOT, yang jadi Fuchuya di drama Twin Spica itu sama kayak aktornya Kyouya Ootori di Ouran loh)

3. Kaze no Stigma
Iya. Series ini biasa. Tapi entah kenapa, saya merasa dekat dengan tokoh utamanya. Tidak diakui oleh keluarga pengendali api karena tidak mempunyai bakat mengendalikan api, how sad is that? Tapi karena dia gigih dan terus berusaha dalam berjuang, dia menjadi salah satu pengendali angin yang kuat. Anime ini mengajarkan kepadaku kalau kita bisa menjadi kuat, walaupun dulu kita sangat lemah.

4. Steins;Gate
YUUPPPP anime ini mengajarkan kepada kita : jangan selalu terpaut dengan masa lalu dan jangan pernah berpikir untuk mengubahnya, karena belum tentu hasilnya akan menjadi lebih baik. Intinya, anime ini menginspirasi saya untuk terus maju ke depan, dan jangan pernah melihat ke belakang. Yes, masa lalu bukan ada untuk disesali tapi ada untuk dijadikan pelajaran.

5. Battle Royale
I don't know. Di film ini, kita diperlihatkan sisi sebenarnya dari manusia ^^; tapi karena kedua tokoh utama saling percaya dan saling mendukung satu sama lain, pada akhirnya mereka bisa selamat walaupun hanya ada satu pemenang. Intinya? Percayalah dengan partner kalian dan pikirkan jalan keluar yang memungkinkan kita semua selamat, jangan hanya beberapa orang saja, karena Tuhan selalu memberi jalan kepada siapapun yang berusaha ^^ (sedikit OOT *lagi* BATTLE ROYALE KEDUA ITU GAK RAME).

Okay, sorry about this unimportant post and how short this is. Again, sorry and HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!^^

Label: about me, anime, cerita, geje, updates

Those are lyrics from Steins;Gate opening : Hacking to the gate.
This song pretty much only described glimpses of the entire story, but beautiful nonetheless.
This is NOT fandoming. But I think I should share this thing, hehe.

Translation + Romaji from anime-lyrics

Full lyrics under the cut!


Romaji.
Translation.

HACKING TO THE GATE
_{Written and Composed by Shikura Chiyomaru
Arranged by Isoe Toshimichi
Performed by Itou Kanoko}

Welcome!! Time line travel on The game.
Welcome!! Heroes hacking to The gate.

Welcome!! Time line travel on The game.
Welcome!! Heroes hacking to The gate.

suujuuoku mono kodou no kazu sae
anata ni wa matataki teido no saji na toukyuu
kako ni torawarete mirai wo nageku mo
chiri hitotsu gosan wo yurusanu hitsuzen

Even the number of the billions of the heartbeats,
to you, is a trifle no more than a blink of the eye.
Although I'm trapped in the past and lamenting at the future,
I must not allow even a dust-sized miscalculation.

"Mugen" ni hirogaru yume mo egaku mirai mo
bokutachi ni yurusareta kyoei no genri
"Yuugen" sore wa futatsu no hari ga shimesu
zankoku na yakujou to sentaku e Hacking to the Gate---

We have been given the theory of the right to brag vainly about
both our "infinitely" expanding dream and our sketched future.
The two hands of the clock point out the "finite" factor.
I head towards a cruel contract and choice, hacking to the gate--

dakara ima ichibyou goto ni sekaisen wo koete
kimi no sono egao mamoritai no sa
soshite mata kanashimi no nai jikan no RUUPU e to
nomikomarete yuku kodoku no kansokusha

That's why, at this very moment, in the interval of a second,
I wish to cross the world lines and protect your smile.
Then, once again into a time loop devoid of misery,
I will be swallowed as a lonely observer.

inochi no shuchou to muimi no shoumei
anata ni wa taikutsu shinogi ni taranu kokkei
shihaisha kidori no oroka na shuzoku wa
unuboreta chisetsu na teiri wo narabeta

Even life's viewpoints and meaningless proofs,
to you, are so laughable that you can't even use them to relieve your boredom.
The foolish people of that race, acting as if they were the rulers of all,
have presented childish theorems that reek of their conceitedness.

"Mugen" to shinjita ai mo sora no kanata mo
bokutachi ni shimesareta kasou no jiyuu
"Yuugen" sore wa mujihi ni toki wo kizami
asu sae mo hitei suru sentaku e Hacking to the Gate---

We have been shown the freedom to imagine things
such as "infinite" love and what's beyond the sky.
The "finite" is what's mercilessly allowing time to flow on,
as I head towards my choice to deny even tomorrow, hacking to the gate--

ikutsu mono kagayakeru hibi nakama to no yakusoku
nakatta koto ni wa shite wa ikenai
sono tame ni toki wo azamuku nokosareta shikake ni
mou mayoi wa nai kodoku no kansokusha

I must not pretend that I've never made any promise
with my friends back in those brilliant days.
Therefore, I am a lonely observer with no more doubt
in my remaining tricks that I will use to deceive time.

dakara ima ichibyou goto ni sekaisen wo koete
kimi no sono egao mamoritai no sa
soshite mata kanashimi no nai jikan no RUUPU e to
nomikomarete yuku kodoku no kansokusha

That's why, at this very moment, in the interval of a second,
I wish to cross the world lines and protect your smile.
Then, once again into a time loop devoid of misery,
I will be swallowed as a lonely observer.

The opening in the anime :

This song has a really deep meaning, huh?
note : to fully understand this, I think you must at least read Steins;Gate's summary or John Titor's story (a famous time traveler from year 2036)

Label: anime, geje, iseng, myuzikkk, updates

Am I Too Honest?

If I don't really like someone, I will express it clearly.
So that's why i don't have many friends.

I always tell my friends what i don't like about them.
I know I am very tainted and have many flaws myself but i can't help it.

They're a bit ignorant.
I always try to accept them, and I always try to understand them.

I lied about what I truly like.
I say `I like it!` to the ones whom I hate.

I always go hyper around people.
When my nature is quietness and relaxed atmosphere.

I want to be accepted in this arranged society.

But I know I can't.

Don't you know that I am tired?

If you don't want to talk with me, to play with me, why do you do that?
I hate those ignorant people who thought that the world revolves around them.

I hate myself who can't be honest even to my heart.
I can't say what I truly like without thinking how society will accept me.

Recently, I am really angry with my friends. (still)
I try to tell them but i am afraid. Yes, I am that coward.

And then, I try to become distant.
But out of many things I can't bear, I hate loneliness the most.

Today, I tell my friend about my feelings.
She told me,

You befriended someone based on the benefical situation you can get from them.

Yeah, it is true.
I think with my logical and rational mind.

I have a dirty heart.
I am selfish. I only think about myself.

I keep my stories to myself. I never spilled it to anyone. Not even my so called friends. I have always been demanding about their story, I say I want to understand them better, and I want to help them. I want to enter their world.

But in reality, I always complain that their stories are boring, I can't find the happiness that I seek, I can't find the fun that I desire.

I always lie about my stories, even in non-related fandom.
I force my self to believe that i like those things. And it hurts. Both physically and mentally to the point i want to puke all everything out in one go.

What a big lie.

No one knows about this.

After reading all these non sense, do you think you will stay as my friends?

It's miracle for you to do that, I am positive.

ps. I watched TinTin today and the animation is really nice and fluid, looks like real things..

Label: about me, aneh, cerita, ga penting, updates

Halo semua~ postingan kali ini hanya mencakup hal-hal yang ga penting.
Jadi kalo kalian ga mau buang waktu, silahkan pencet tombol x di kanan atas, okeh?


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Saya akan melatih skill css saya yang udah bulukan.
No, bukan di blog ini, tapi di blog lain.

Sudah kuputuskan bahwa blog itu akan diisi khusus hanya untuk fangirling dan berbagai macam review. Istilah kerennya sih, blog untuk berfandom ria. Supaya tambah cool, semua isi postingannya dalam bhs inggris yang grammarnya ancur tea.

Kenapa saya buat blog semaceem itu?
Well, setelah dipikir-pikir kayaknya kurang enak ya kalo isi blog ini itu-itu aja tentang review dan fangirling kan kesannya garing banget ^^; padahal inti dari blog ini tuh buat nunjukin siapa sih `andita` itu.

Jadi? Yup. Mulai saat ini, blog ini hanya posting soal my endless rants about my raifu. For example, curhat soal nilai. Yah pokoknya tentang kehidupan aku banget.

One more thing, I can't let you know about my other blog ^^; It's embarassing!
But if you insist, you can search it yourself. As a STALKER. xDDD

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Pernah ga sih kalian punya temen yang membingungkan?
Di satu waktu, dia menyenangkan. Di satu waktu, tiba-tiba tingkahnya ga jelas *?* kayak sendirinya jelas aja.

Oh SMA, oh SMA. Oh remedial, oh remedial.

Comment?

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Label: about me, aneh, cerita, ga penting, geje, updates

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